The last two weeks have been a struggle with time, emotions, stress, and workouts. The scale seems to be stuck, which is discouraging but not entirely surprising consider the latest life events. Dave and I are just over a month away from our big day and everything seems to be happening all at once!
The wedding preparations are ongoing, of course, but in addition, Dave and I are closing on a house (which is exciting, but man is it a lot of work!) The house definitely has great bones, and I have no doubt that it will be beautiful, but it is a bit of a fixer upper with several decisions that need to be made on what to keep, what to take out, paint colors, carpet, new appliances -- it's a lot of decision making in such a short period of time. We're both very excited to move in, but it's been a lot of long days.
Furthermore, I received some news from back home that my mom has been unwell. Her diabetes caught up to her heart and she needs surgery to install four stents. I've been doing my best to be present during this time, but distance doesn’t make this any easier. I'm trying to be there emotionally and financially for my mom during this trying time, but it has really taken a toll and is making me down and depressed. Life doesn't stop, you know? I still have my day-to-day job and responsibilities to maintain and it’s been tough. I'm finding it a little bit harder to get up and get moving. Everything seems to be moving at lightning speed and I can't seem to catch my breath. My anxiety levels are creeping up and it's all emotionally taxing. I've been waking up tired and struggle with energy throughout the day, and I'm just not getting the workouts in that I need to. I’d rather stay in bed, to be honest.
Although this week has been like pulling teeth to drive down to see Holly for our workouts, I always feel great after. It's really the medicine the doctor ordered. So, why is it that I can't seem to get myself to do this on my own?
One very fun part of the week was going with Dave to do menu tastings for our reception dinner and our cake tasting. This was fun and delicious but it definitely derailed my diet! We got to taste a variety of appetizers like mini beef sliders, petite crab cakes, mini chicken empanadas, and flatbread, and then main course options like butternut squash ravioli, rib-eye steak with scalloped potatoes, and salmon with fingerling potatoes and grilled asparagus - double yum! I probably shouldn't have, but when i was offered a cocktail, without thinking I just said "Yes, please!" I did do my best throughout the tasting to take little bites and not devour an entire plate, which I think I did quite successfully. It was amazing how full I felt afterward, though, even with all of the tiny bites. I guess butter, cheese, and white flour all add up pretty quick calorie-wise, even in small portions.
As for the cake tasting…. well that was a free fall. I did take bites here and there, but my problem came when we had so much left over and we took a 'to go' box home. (Helpful tip, if they ask you if you want a 'to go' box, the answer is always NO!) I ended up eating just about every cupcake left in that box. I was in a sugar coma for days and my body felt it too!
Planning my food out and the preparation hasn't been happening. I plan maybe two or three of my meals out a week and am forgetting about my snacks which is diverting me back to my old habits of unhealthy snacks like chips and chocolate. I then feel horrible about not giving my 110% on this - not prepping my food and not working out - and I beat myself up about it and it becomes like a viscous cycle that's making me more depressed.
Thankfully, Holly surprised me with two weeks worth of meals from ProTrain F3, which are prepackaged, healthy meals that take your calorie and macro nutrients into account. This was such a blessing to have. The food was delicious and filling, and it was as easy as popping them out of the freezer and into the microwave. Some of my favorites were the chicken fajita, the turkey chorizo breakfast burrito, the salads, and the turkey burger, which was was ah-mazing! These saved me so much time by not having to meal prep.
Holly also took me out to lunch to discuss healthy options for eating out, since realistically you just need to do it sometimes as another time saver. The tips were helpful for me and Dave to make healthier choices when ordering take-out, such as:
Stick with protein and steamed or raw veggies
When Holly and I met to train, she was sympathetic toward my current situation while also reminding me of my goals, because I’m about 4-5 pounds away from where I should be right now. She gave me some tips to work around these bumps in life, as we all have them! She suggested planning my workouts in the morning like an appointment so that I wouldn’t be tempted to skip them at the end of the day. So I’ll be trying to do that next week, forcing myself to get up about 30 minutes earlier to get in a run. She also reminded me that working out actually helps reduce and manage stress and improve your mood. She suggested that in these times, exercise like yoga can be very beneficial because of the way it helps you to focus and slow down your mind.
We did a bit of yoga after our workout and it inspired me to get back into hot yoga, which I love! It always relaxes me and opens up my body, and burns a lot of calories at the same time! I was quite nervous going into the studio this week, however. Hot yoga always finds a way to dig so deep that there's a sense of release. I'd been having such a hard few weeks that I was nervous I was just going to lose it in the studio. I may have shed a tear, but it was what I needed. I felt great after. When I'm feeling down, these are the things I need to remember. Remember how you feel during and after your workout, and try not to focus on the difficulties in getting there.
Body Fat: 26.7%